Shift To Saying No

Shift To Saying No

Hello, hello.

How are you? How's your day going?

Let's take a long deep breath.

I'm looking at some beautiful flowers.

Bring 100% of your attention to looking at something — giving it all your attention.

Let your love flow through you into that object.

It's easier if it's something beautiful like a sunflower, which is what I'm looking at.

yellow sunflower in bloom during daytime

But you can send your love into anything with all your attention.

So just study anything — notice it with attention in ways you've never noticed it before.

That's a way of giving love to it, right?

That in itself.

tabby cat touching person's palm

Notice how you shift a little bit as you study or interact with your object.

Doing that brings you into the present moment.


I’ve been noticing lately how a real challenge of life is to learn to consistently say “No” to a lot of things — but, also to say “Yes” to the right things.

When you don't say “No” to a lot of things, your life ends up becoming overly filled.

We naturally want to say “Yes” to life.

So, we have a vulnerability in the direction of saying “Yes” to too many things.

But then, what do you say “Yes” to?

How do you make decisions about what you say “Yes” to?

The better you get at solving that challenge for yourself, the more you're able to walk your own path — the more the journey feels right, feels purposeful, feels like the life you were meant to live.

For me, connecting to presence as a priority is the way that those “yeses” and “noes” get answered most effectively.

Part of that means coming into silence very consistently and listening for what feels right, and what doesn't feel right.

What feels like too much chaos?

What feels like the next step along your path?

gray asphalt road between green grass and trees during daytime

Take another deep breath.

Depending on which words you use and how you think about life — “presence” very much overlaps with love.

Presence is life.

And love flows through life.

So getting connected to presence enables you to feel connected to love.

So… another way to make those decisions about what you let into your life is by asking: Is it growing love? Or, is it not growing love?

Does saying “Yes” feel right when you're present?

When your attention is fully here, you're not distracted by thought after thought, or stress after stress going through your head.

You're able to sit, and feel, and be, and notice what feels right — so you can live your life very deeply from that place — and not be distracted from your life.

So, of course, that's why we shift into presence so consistently.

Let's do that together and feel for what feels right, right now.

Listen with me.

I'll step outside.

Let’s listen to waves for a minute together as we feel.

With all our attention just being here.


Notice if you get distracted.

And let whatever it is that distracts you — that flows through your mind — to just keep flowing out of your mind until you come into full quiet.

Listen to life go by for 30 seconds or so.

Alright, perfect.

How do you feel?

Are you feeling like saying “Yes” to this moment?

I feel so grateful today.

I’m grateful to be able to drop in a presence and feel life flow through me.

Feel the meaning, the purpose that is associated with that experience of walking your personal path with as much full attention as you're able to in every moment.

Take one more long deep breath.

Have a great day.

I'll talk to you soon.

Stay present.


Read SHIFT in the Substack app
Available for iOS and Android

OnePerfect Shift is an audio letter from a psychologist that shifts you into a better state of mind anytime. Each post gives you a fresh look at your relationship to your mind and reminds you how much control you can have over your life experience.